Weird news
By Violet Wisdom
#3 HOPES FOR FIVE MINUTES OF BALLOON FAME- Who knew there were so many balloon enthusiasts in the United States?! Grabbing headlines from across the country, localized news media splashed missing balloon stories as an offer to not only explain what the objects recently shot down by the Pentagon were, but to gain a little attention as possibly being the owner of a rogue balloon made famous by a half million-dollar missile. Chiming in on the subject, Bill Konkolesky, the State Director of Michigan MUFON reported that the object shot down over Lake Huron does not appear to be a UFO because of its movements before being destroyed. MI MUFON has not identified exactly what the object was, though Konkolesky does have a few theories. Not worth mentioning, but too ridiculous to keep to oneās self, Kardashian fans apparently have decided that all three objects are the work of a marketing campaign to sell swimsuits that make you look like an alien. Well, that makes sense (Occam's razor), Iām gonna need some Peptoā¦
#2 GIANT IRON BALL IN JAPAN- Now that weāre openly talking about mysterious objects, the latest oddity washed to shore on Japanās Pacific coast. The finding was handled by Hamamatsu Police who were prepared to deal with an explosive. After investigating the rusted round object, it was determined it would not explode and people were allowed back into the area. A local runner stated that the object had been there for several weeks. The ball continues to be looked into by the Japanese military.
#1 STINKY MYSTERY DUST- People in the Hudson Valley area of Connecticut woke late last week to a chemical smell and āresidueā on their cars. The Department of Energy and Environmental Protection states to have looked into the possibility the issue came from the Ohio hazardous chemical disaster and found no link. NASA air pollution expert Ryan Stauffer found dust from a storm in the Great Plains had moved into the Hudson Valley area. He was not however able to explain the smell that arrived with the dust. The event remains unXplained.
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